so hey, if you're bored.

[ookami!]

and want to read about a whiney girl with no life, griping about her life, come here! : D
because i need to vent somehow, i'm going to now fill up this post with 1/8 of my problems to maybe feel a little better. and this is only one bit. imagine how much more whiney i can be.



i get crap from my mother all the time because i'm bisexual. technically i'm pansexual, but let's just stick with bisexual at the moment. my parents are christian freaks. my dad doesn't now about my being bi, because my mom's been hiding it or something. and i don't really go all-out and yell at them "I'MMA BISMEXUAL PERSHUN!" because that's pretty much the only way they'd take notice of anything other than my f**king "friends" blabbing to everyone after I entrusted them with that big secret of mine.
I wish it hadn't been a secret, and that i'm trying my best to keep it that way, but where i live unless you want to be pretty much verbally assaulted by everyone you know and their dog, if you're different you shut up about it. everyone here is christian. everyone. 'cept me. i acknowledge the fact that there could be a higher power somehwere, and that there's hell [though i'm not completely sure about heaven] but i don't worship. i just kinda float around in that spiritual gray area and get by with what i can. if someone asks, i say i'm straight/christian, whatever the question is. i say what people want to hear. cause if you say you're something different, then you automatically become the freak. the person everyone hates. i'm fine with being that kind of person, i have two friends in real life that haven't completely shunned me after finding out some way or another, but look at my parents. i couldn't do that to them. or myself. if i did that... my mom would probably k.o me. or worse.
i want to say i don't give a f**k, but.. i can't.

mymom hates me. basically hates me. she takes every chance she gets to yell at me. severeal times i've had to hold myself back, done my best to stop myself from getting up and punching her, cursing at her, stabbing her, telling her what i think of her. i tried to love her. i tried to be a good daughter. but two months ago i gave up. i said to myself, "if i'm not good enough for her when i'm trying, what's the point?" so basically i've decided to do whatever the hell i want. she thinks i'm a freak. a person uncapable of loving anyone but herself.
let her think that, i don't care.
well mom, you know what i think about you? i think you're a fat, mean, conceited, selfish bicth.
among other things.

so you know what, mom? i'm gonna pierce my lip. i'm gonna cut my hair. i'm gonna do everything and anything i want. anything i f**king want.

hah. you say i've gotten fat-ER? you're the one who's gained weight.
i've dropped almost three sizes in a month, you've gone up two.

get your facts straight, pregnant dog.

i'm working hard. i'm exercising, eating less. eating healthier.
i was never fat.
just out of shape.
chubby.
but you're fat.
you're the one that goes out and eats whatever the hell you want, drinks a 2liter coke in one sitting, eats a whole pizza yourself, sits at a computer or tv all the time when you're not sleeping.
when do you get up and walk?
when do you have a salad?
never.
f**k you.

i'm so sick and tired of all this f**king bullnuts.

so mom, just turn and walk away from me.
just like you've wanted to all these years.

alrighty, i feel a little better. i could type for hours on end, but i'm going to shut up after saying this.
i love all of you.

'specially you, jazzi.
cause you were there.
you helpedme through a lot of my problems.
i'll admit, you werent' there when i was in the worst shape i've ever been.
but you were there.
and i thank you for that.

[ookami!]

those censors they put really look weird. o__o

[Whiteflash]

Wow, I could NEVER vent like that! Good for you! I'm actually speechless, and honestly, that doesn't happen a lot. Why do people have to be like that??? It makes me wanna bring out my mass murder plan again :K
If I told people what I think about their dumb religion, I think someone would track me down and kill me in my sleep 0_o.
Good you know that we love you, bi or straight. The only people I cannot stand are emos. So, if any one is emo on here...-shifty eyes-
I have no respect for people without respect of themselves.
Anyway, again, nice vent. If I did it, I probibly wouldn't have many words in it that aren't blocked.
I just have one question; What's pansexual? It's not in my dictionary.

[ookami!]

pansexual is kind of like being bisexual.
bisexuals believe that gender shouldn't matter
whereas pansexuals believe that nothing should interfere with love. gender, age, race, religion, etc.

and thanks.. while i was writing that i was afraid someone would come and say we don't give a f**k. stop whining.
thanks, whitey. thanks so much. <333
god, my f**king parents are mocking me right because i'm the only one in our famiy that has an accent. it's not like i f**king want this god d**n accent.

uhm.
beware.
because i'll probably end up ranting about the other 7/8 of my life in the next month.
so i don't recommend looking in here when there's a new reply.





f**k.
my back hurts. x_o

[Whiteflash]

Ah. Interesting. Another word in my dictionary!
Usually I would, but, you know.. I only really do that if the same thing is going on with me, buuuut, it's not, soooo, yeah. And I wuv you too much
You're welcome. Hey, what else am I here for? It's not like I'm here to roleplay or anything like that...
Dude, what kind of accent do you have? `Cuz, all accents are cool. Except for like, Canadian and American nutse. Dude, if you're British-like, Imma gonna cyber-hug you.
Man, your parents are some f**k-heads, eh? Oh, crap. There goes one dollar in the swear jar :K. I'd kill for any accent. MY VOICE IS SO LAME! I sound like a man.
-salute- Will do, boss woman. But, I'll probably read it anyway. I like reading angry peoples posties. Unless they're really pointless. But, man, do you have a point!

((DUDE! The scanner turns s-h-i-t-e into nutse!!!! ))

[ookami!]

xD
I hate my accent.
my accent used to change constantly because i practice other accents all the time, and everyone thinks they're real.
but my natural accent is a Texan accent.
I do a badass british accent, though. ;D

[Whiteflash]

YAAAAAAAAAY!! British/English people rock my sox
Texan is cool, too, though. You can say 'howdy' all the time!!!

[carli]

[is too lazy to log in]
xDDD
contrary to popular belief, texans don't say 'howdy' very much at all. i think they stopped when people started mimicking them. ; D

[Whiteflash]

Oh...-is guilty as charged-
Howdy is very common at my school, actually. It's quickly being replaced by 'yo' however.

[ookami!]

xDDD
nicee.
however, we do still use "y'all" a lot. ; D
and "perdy" :3

alright, more ranting.
a couple days ago my f**king mom tells me, basically, that i was an accident child, i wasn't supposed to be born, my mom never wanted me. ><
eing;arho;eiugj;tehyj.jdhagnr,ls. rawr.

[Whitey]

I would run away, but then I'd have no computer

In my opinion, your mother doesn't deserve your effort. OH! Good idea! Let's ignore her and see how mad she gets! Wait, you probably already do that...

Let's pretend we just cant see his face.. Hm hm hm...

Wait, what? Oh, sorry.

Does she act like that when she has friends over? Probably, right?

[ookami!]

i don't have friends over.
i don't have any friends that can come over.
i only have one.. his name is chris, and he hasn't been over in a long time.
but when we're out, she acts like she's like this really nice mom that loves her daughter more than anything in the world.
but you know..
my mom looked around on a couple sites i had been on, and i had been talking to some friends on there and agreeing with them about parents, and i let a few things slip, and she's been nicer than usual.


kinda creepy.

[Lost]

Thanks and whiteys kinda right ignore her.I ignored my mom for three weeks and she bought me a flatscreen tv!And a pinball machine that i dont use but now that i talk to her she doesnt try to ignore me.It helps trust me

[Stormchaser]

Poor Kami-chan. And go ahead and vent, that's practically what the internet is here for, when you think about it. ;3 And I agree with Komo/Whitey. Ignore her. If she's going to be that f**king mean about things, just ignore her.

[ookami!]

a flatscreen tv?
pinball machine?
nahh, she'd never buy me anythign like that,, even if i wanted it.
my parents moved me out into the middle of nowhere and put us on solar, so we don't have the energy to run things like that anyways.
-chuckles-
it kind of sucks.

-wishesshelivedinthscity-
ah, yes.

my mom got new hours at work.
i'm so happy.
SO HAPPY.
that much less time in the day i have to see her, hear her obnoxious laugh when she's on the phone, do her chores just so she can turn around and take the credit for everything and tell me i do zero work around the house.
and that much more time home alone in the peace and quiet. <3