{rating} A coincidence? Or destiny?

[[x].xx.Lightningfire.xx.[x]]

Silentstorm ran through the reeds. She clawed the ground as she chased the vole along. She didnt realise where she was going. The sandy gorge was beneath her paws. The vole slipped down and fell to the waters. Silentstorm leaped in after it and splashed into the rushing waves. She drew herself up and swum powerfully along. Within seconds she had grabbed the vole and was clawing towards the bank again. She hauled herself from the liquid and placed the dead creature on the ground. She chewed it happily and threw the remains into the crashing waters. Her blue eyes sparkled. She jumped up the rocky cleft and landed on the top. A red cat stood on the top. Lightningfire!She thought, startled My son?.
They looked amazingly similair apart from thier pelts. That may seem to make it all seem different but the way his eyes danced with the same fire and the shape of thier bodies curved along. She drew in a breath as she waited for her precious son to attack but instead he seemed to understand. But soon she was surrounded by Windclan... THIS CANT BE HAPPENING!

[Featherstar]

Really good, but there's a few style+grammar junk in there you need to watch.

She clawed the ground as she chased the vole along. She didn't realize where she was going. The sandy gorge was beneath her paws. The vole slipped down and fell to the waters.

You start three sentences in a row with she. There's nothing wrong with that, but it tends to sound choppy.

she drew in a breath as she waited for her precious son to attack but instead he seemed to understand. But soon I was surrounded by Windclan...

Just person agreement. You start in 3rd person, then you switch to 1st.

Don't forget to use the spellchecker. It's right between the Preveiw and Reset buttons.

[[x].xx.Lightningfire.xx.[x]]

Oh the last bit is cause I was doing homework at the same time and I was doing that in 1st

[Featherstar]

Oh, OK.

[[x].xx.Lightningfire.xx.[x]]

XD