did i make it ok(privvy for lightclaw and vis~chan

[Lost]

Lostpaw,now sparky,layed his head down on the ground thinking of when he was just a young forset cat and had vision.He spat when he thought of her and looked at himself in a puddle.Gray fur was neat his teeth were solid white and his fur was trimmed alon with that he had on a dark blue collar and he was fatter then he ever had been."Sparky!"he heard his nrother call and he twitched his tail.His brother gusgus relized he was thinking and walked inside a long door.Sparky sighed."Did i make the right choice to leave?"he asked himself looking out at the wild from a fenve

[ookami!]

Vision, now of Bloodclan, seeing as Lostpaw didn't want her, was talking to Halo and beginning to cry as she told her and Lostpaw's story. She sniffled and looked over, and saw Lostpaw.
Wait--that can't be Lostpaw, the cat she had and still loved so dearly! He-he-he was a kittypet!
How... how could he have done that!
Wait, why should she care? He didn't want her, to him, she was already dead. No, she was dead, that was the truth, or so she thought. She quickly looked away, and jumped off of the fence.
"I-I gotta go." She said shakily, walking away.

[Lost]

Lostpaw looked at her before she dissappeared and snorted."So she did join bloodclan pitiful."he muttered walking inside

[ookami!]

Vision broke down in sobs on her way to her new home.

[Lost]

Lostpaw walked into a room filled with toys and started batting a mouse around."She may have just needed it so she can still love me."he thought to himself before he pounced on the toy batting it across the room

[ookami!]

Visionpaw walked towards the thunderpath.
she wanted to die.
To rid the world of her.
She watched as the monsters rumbled past, and was about to step onto the thunderpath when she was struck with a memory of... Lynxpelt.

[Lost]

A small fluffy orange kittypet saw a wild cat he recionized."Visionpaw!"gusgus yelped happily running up to her in a little of a small skip."How are you vision...lostpaw i mean sparky misses you he say your name every time he takes a nap."he purred

[ookami!]

Vision looked at Gusgus, her normally bright eyes lifeless and hollow.
"Your brother killed me." She whispered, before walking out onto the road and stopping in the path of a monster.

[Lost]

Gusgus barreled into her pushing her to the other side with him."My brother loves you he just thinks you love that Loveless cat!" he growled

[ookami!]

Vision shook her head.
"Loveless is my brother. How could I love Loveless like I do Lost? Besides, Lostpaw doesn't love me." She said quietly.

[Lost]

"Yes he does and if he heard that you still loved them and that you had cried over him he might take you back in."he meowed with fierce anger before he got swatted byr a paw."Never talk about that again shes bloodclan i am a kitty pet now we all need to leave shadowclan territory."sparky mewled before he ran back across sognaling his tail for gusgus to follow him.Gusgus stood up."He still loves you."he muttered before he followed him

[ookami!]

Visionpaw watched Lost--er, "sparky" walk away, and promptly started to cry again.

[Lost]

Sparky heard her cry and wanted to hold her but padded forward hopping over his fence."before he rounded on his brother."WhY DID YOU TELL HER I STILL LOVED HER I STILL DO BUT WE CANT BE TOGETHER ANYMORE I AM A KITTY PET NOT A BLOODCLAN CAT!"he yowled at gusgus who was know looking at him with terrified eyes

[ookami!]

Vision could still hear him, and knew it was not so. Her father had not been in a clan, yet her mother still took her and her brother to see him...

[Lost]

Gusgus stared at his brother.LOstpaw was bristling all of his fur white his eyes deep red with long claws that showed out of fur,long teeth over his chin."d**n you to darkclan gusgus."he snarled leaping into the forest